Good Love and Marriage (I) : Whose “good” is this?
On February 3, he wrote an essay on “good love and marriage”. “Good love and marriage should be about two people falling in love, growing up together and creating something beautiful.”I still feel that I have not finished, and many problems have not been explained in detail, but also not explained thoroughly.Therefore, I would like to start a series on “good love and marriage”.Today, let’s start with just one word: “good.”There’s an episode in the TV show “Do you know?”Little grandpa (Qi Yuan if) resentment gu Ershu (Gu Tingye) married Sheng Minglan, in the court deliberately aimed at Gu Tingye.His second xian Shen Lady, also understand that the little grandpa once with love very deep, so in the housewarming banquet directly find Ming LAN, Ming Li secretly vent dissatisfaction.Knowing the seriousness of the situation, Minglan took the risk of ruining her reputation and made an appointment with xiaogongye.The conversation between Ming LAN and my little grandpa was quite long. We only pointed out one of Ming LAN’s words: “It’s up to me to feel good, but not to you!”Good love and marriage “good”, as Ming LAN said.First, it is objectively beneficial to the parties concerned; second, subjectively, the parties themselves also feel good.The marriage with Uncle Gu was objectively good for Minglan, and she also felt good about it.That’s a good marriage.The little grandpa felt bad about it, and it didn’t count.And little grandpa embarrassed uncle, to impose a he thought “good” to The Ming LAN, but also to the beautiful life of the Ming LAN.The lesson of this story is that “good” is first and foremost the “good” of the person concerned.There is a basic philosophical principle behind why “good” is associated with people.That is, value judgments cannot be separated from subjects.To judge anything good or bad must be relative to some subject.This subject can be a specific person, an organization, a group, etc.In the above example, for the subject Sheng Minglan, her marriage with Gu Tingye is good.However, the same marriage, when the subject became Qi Yuan Ruo, he felt bad.Parents, relatives and friends introduce marriage partners to us and always say “this person is nice”.”Good” is also a value judgment.Then, according to the above philosophical principle, we need to have more eyes.This “good” is good to us, good to the speaker, or good to outsiders.In many cases, the parties involved in love and marriage do not know who this good is relative to. As a result, after marriage, they are not satisfied with everything, and good has become “wrong”.It is for this reason that when discussing the merits and demerits of a love or marriage, one must first understand who the “merits” are relative to.One kind of circumstance, as ordinary person, this is good to want relative to the party to tell ability line.His honey is my arsenic.What other people think is good is not good for us.On the other hand, as a large family, this is mostly relative to the family and has little to do with the parties involved.Political marriages, for example.In this kind of marriage, it is not important whether it is good or not, but what is good for both families comes first.Most of us are ordinary people, so the “good” of good love and marriage must be for ourselves.Once this crucial question is ambiguous, all kinds of tragedies arise: love is for parents, marriage is for parents, children are for parents.Mom and dad are very happy, the client is in pain, “good” is not good.In short, a good love, a good marriage, the specific content of “good” may vary from person to person, but must be around the parties.Further, to be objectively good to the parties, subjectively also feel good, that is really good.On the contrary, if only objective good, the parties do not feel, do not count;Just the parties feel good, objectively bad, do not count.At the same time, just what parents think is good does not count;Seven aunts and eight aunts feel good, it does not count;Most people think it’s good, let alone good.It is not easy to get a good love and marriage.The “who’s good” this problem break clear, at least from good love and marriage can be a step closer, will not be confused to love, marriage, children, regret.